Using DS, 1 failed ICSI, 2 failed IUIs... what next?

We decided to do ICSI first with Donor Sperm (DS) sample procured by a bank suggested by MHB in Jayanagar, Bangalore. Out of 6 oocytes frozen in one straw, 5 oocytes survived after thawing process and only 3 fertilized well with DS of my DH’s blood group. All 3 were transferred and none got implanted :-(

Since we had 6 more frozen oocytes, the plan of action was to fertilize 3 oocytes with 1 DS sample of DH’s blood group and last 3 with 1 DS of my blood group and use IUI instead of ICSI.

Unfortunately, none of the 2 IUI cycles succeeded. By then, my body had taken a lot of injections and medicines and the brain was really dissatisfied, hence a break or change was required.

We decided to say Good-Bye to Manipal Hospital Bangalore (MHB) and decide another place to continue our quest. Deciding on whom to consult next in Bangalore seemed next to impossible as MHB was the ONLY last option in Bangalore.

As I had a few relatives in Delhi whom I could trust blindfolded, I chose to stay with them and take my chances in Delhi.

More about it, later.

Toughest decision: Adoption vs. Donor Sperm

We had had a rough 2-year journey “trying to conceive”. Last few months were the roughest and taking a decision on our way forward wasn’t any easier. Me and my DH, both sat down with a set of pen and paper each. The task was to jot down all the advantages/disadvantages of “Adopting a Baby” versus that of using a “Donor Sperm sample for ADI”.

It was definitely a nerve-wrecking activity. We both took time and reviewed our points several times before starting the debate. I remember keeping those 2 paper pieces in my safe. After a lot of discussion and argument, I had to agree with DH to go ahead with ADI (I am still open to Adoption). I do not understand why our Indian Society is so NOT open to adoption. I guess, the idea is to show off your baby bump to your neighbours, friends and even strangers.

If I can’t have one, why should that stop me from adopting one? After a lot of thinking, I suggested my DH that we could adopt a child and go to another city and live for a year or two and come back with a baby… “Tadaa!!! I delivered while we were away”. DH didn’t approve such a brilliant idea.

DH said if our child can’t have his chromosomes, at least it should have mine. Well, my point was (still is), if it ain’t Yours’ then let’s make one adopted child as Ours' (not by chromosomes but by characteristics). It will still be Ours’. Unfortunately, I couldn’t win this argument with my DH and had to give in.

We took this decision in May’14 and visited MHB at the start of my next menstrual cycle for IUI.

Next step, visiting Donor Sperm Bank for IUI-1 planned for July/Aug’14.

Making a decision: ART or Ayurveda?

It was a difficult decision to make. We wanted to explore and exhaust all possible options before choosing "What's next?". So we decided to consult a few ART specialists discussing our case and see if a mid-way could be found.

We started with Dr. Kamini Rao (Dr. Kamini Rao Hospital, Jayanagar 5th Block, Bangalore - now Permanently Closed) in Oct' 12. She straightaway suggested IVF, not even considering IUI. It didn't give us a good feeling so we chose to walk away with no acknowledgement to her advice (no, it wasn't rude at all).

Google Search provided us with a list of Doctors and Clinics in Bangalore who conduct IVF/ ART. Then we met Dr. Uma Maheswari (Sure Fertility, J.P.Nagar 5th Phase, Bangalore) in Nov' 12. Since we had all possible tests reports for me and my DH, she concluded to either go with a Varicocectomy or ART. Probably, not what we wanted to hear, AGAIN. As their success rate in 2012 wasn't that great, we decided to keep it as last priority and discover more clinics/ specialists.

Few days later, we read about Dr. Madhuri Patil (Dr. Patil's Fertility and Endoscopy Clinic, Bannerghatta Road, Bangalore). So we headed to her clinic. She did a default Pelvis Scan (all patients were made to pay even before being informed about it) not considering which day of your menstrual cycle you visited. I got highly pissed off with her for pinching my areolas without notice. She didn't even give it a mention why she did that. She concluded to do an ICSI because as per her, I had PCOS which the previous two scans conducted at two different clinics were not seen. I definitely didn't want to get pinched again, plus the PCOS was not very convincing so we never went back to her.

After all these experiences, we decided to visit an ayurveda centre. This lead us to Dr. V R Padmanabha Rao (Amruth Ayurvedic Centre, Basavangudi, Bangalore). His treatment stated a 23-day Panchakarma process. I am attaching details for your reference.

The process seemed very cumbersome, as it required my DH to visit the said ayurvedic centre daily for an hour in the morning, coming back home, taking bath and then head to work, and a lot of driving during peak office hours. This treatment that time costed INR 35000.00. Although this cleansing process looked promising, the dynamics of it didn't work out well for us, hence we gave it a pass.

"What's next?"

Current day... Struggle is still on

After yet another failed IVF cycle (ICSI process), I am on a month long break to let my hormones settle down and get geared up for the next attempt. This statement might create an impression of me in your mind as a very strong woman; I am. But feelings change every second, each day. My state of mind keeps fluctuating whenever I recall all the struggles of our "trying to conceive a new life" as a couple.

In this blog, I wish to unfold the sequence of events and share the experience that my husband and I have been through since Dec' 2011. Trust me, it isn't just a struggle to make a baby of your own, but a lot more to deal with.

I know, there are many blogs/ posts/ discussions on infertility (mostly USA, Germany and UK based couples) which has all the latest updates of their cycles and quick references from their past, but that doesn't help much. Even I have read such posts a hundred times myself, but I am going to make this blog different from the others by revealing maximum details (names of places/ clinics/ doctors, tests, costs, etc) for the benefit of my countrymen and foreigners too (many foreigners visit my country to find solution to their infertility problems). My aim is to help other struggling "trying to conceive" couples understand the nitty-gritty of infertility and find their bundle of joy.

My next post will talk about my journey from the very beginning. I plan to do it fast, keeping in mind that my next cycle is just a month away and I have to capture details of past 50 months.

P.S.:  I am an Indian and all my references will be from India.