Using DS, 1 failed ICSI, 2 failed IUIs... what next?

We decided to do ICSI first with Donor Sperm (DS) sample procured by a bank suggested by MHB in Jayanagar, Bangalore. Out of 6 oocytes frozen in one straw, 5 oocytes survived after thawing process and only 3 fertilized well with DS of my DH’s blood group. All 3 were transferred and none got implanted :-(

Since we had 6 more frozen oocytes, the plan of action was to fertilize 3 oocytes with 1 DS sample of DH’s blood group and last 3 with 1 DS of my blood group and use IUI instead of ICSI.

Unfortunately, none of the 2 IUI cycles succeeded. By then, my body had taken a lot of injections and medicines and the brain was really dissatisfied, hence a break or change was required.

We decided to say Good-Bye to Manipal Hospital Bangalore (MHB) and decide another place to continue our quest. Deciding on whom to consult next in Bangalore seemed next to impossible as MHB was the ONLY last option in Bangalore.

As I had a few relatives in Delhi whom I could trust blindfolded, I chose to stay with them and take my chances in Delhi.

More about it, later.

Choosing and Transporting the Donor Sperm from Bank to Hospital

To simplify things for us and follow the guidelines for themselves, Manipal Hospital (MHB) gave us contact details of a Donor Sperm Bank in Jayanagar (operated in Bangalore, but had nation-wide samples). After speaking to the Bank, we discovered that things shown in the Bollywood Hindi Movie “Vicky Donor” was not fake, if not 100% true. People have huge demands for Donors for both the gametes.

I visited them alone, assuming that it would be little discomforting for DH to go along and ask for Donor Sperms. They had a list of donors and asked me to pick a donor on the basis of their Blood Group, Height, Weight, Complexion of Skin, Eyes and Hair, Build and Education. I selected the sample of my DH’s Blood Group. They had several huge cans (bigger than milk cans used to collect cow milk in the barns) filled with Liquid Nitrogen and Frozen Donor Gametes. Thankfully, the sample I chose were readily available and all they required was a letter from the Doctor stating the reason for purchase and of course, the money. Since our Transfer Date was after more than a month and to be used for ICSI, I told the Bank to block the sample for me. I made a junior doctor at MHB speak to the Sperm Bank to authenticate my request.

The day my ICSI date was finalized (3-Day transfer on 1^st Aug’14), 5 days prior to that I collected the sample (handed over to me in a mini flask with vials submerged in Liquid Nitrogen, hanging inside attached to a strong thread,) along with the Authentication Report (Semen Analysis, HIV, HCV, HBSAG and VDRL reports) and gave it to MHB's Lab for fertilization process. Transportation had to be done delicately; the flask had to be kept 90 degrees perpendicular to the ground. Although I had placed the flask on the co-driver's seat (seat-belt tightly fastened), driving alone with the flask was difficult.

Toughest decision: Adoption vs. Donor Sperm

We had had a rough 2-year journey “trying to conceive”. Last few months were the roughest and taking a decision on our way forward wasn’t any easier. Me and my DH, both sat down with a set of pen and paper each. The task was to jot down all the advantages/disadvantages of “Adopting a Baby” versus that of using a “Donor Sperm sample for ADI”.

It was definitely a nerve-wrecking activity. We both took time and reviewed our points several times before starting the debate. I remember keeping those 2 paper pieces in my safe. After a lot of discussion and argument, I had to agree with DH to go ahead with ADI (I am still open to Adoption). I do not understand why our Indian Society is so NOT open to adoption. I guess, the idea is to show off your baby bump to your neighbours, friends and even strangers.

If I can’t have one, why should that stop me from adopting one? After a lot of thinking, I suggested my DH that we could adopt a child and go to another city and live for a year or two and come back with a baby… “Tadaa!!! I delivered while we were away”. DH didn’t approve such a brilliant idea.

DH said if our child can’t have his chromosomes, at least it should have mine. Well, my point was (still is), if it ain’t Yours’ then let’s make one adopted child as Ours' (not by chromosomes but by characteristics). It will still be Ours’. Unfortunately, I couldn’t win this argument with my DH and had to give in.

We took this decision in May’14 and visited MHB at the start of my next menstrual cycle for IUI.

Next step, visiting Donor Sperm Bank for IUI-1 planned for July/Aug’14.